This morning, President Charizard announced a ban on open sales of bicycles. Per the president's executive order, any Pokémon interested in purchasing a bicycle must undergo appraisal by a government-appointed Team Leader before access to the bicycle will be approved.
“Char char zard char,” the president stated, expressing that the policy will make the Kanto region safer.
When pressed to explain exactly how this policy will increase safety, the president lazily snorted smoke from his nostrils and said he didn’t have time for such questions.
Vice President Oak stepped in, explaining “appraisal is a scientific process and therefore both a fair and necessary procedure in determining which Pokémon may freely and speedily navigate the Kanto region.”
Leader of the opposition, Congressman Blastoise, said he and the Blue Party will fight this policy as it does not express the democratic spirit of the Kanto region and is likely motivated by a recent incident when a pack of fun-loving Squirtles accidentally splashed the president while cycling through a puddle on tandem bicycles.
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